Years ago, I’d a discussion with a number of my close male friends and also the age old question emerged: Can women and men be just friends? My boy Otto said, “No way! Guys always fall asleep using their female friends.” My pal Steve interjected, “Of course! I have a platonic friends and that i love them to death.” But then my friend Yorell said, “Yes, men might have platonic friends, but only with women which are unattractive. If she’s pretty, it’s impossible you may be just her friend. That doesn’t mean it’s not an authentic friendship, but when you get the opportunity to smash, you will. Unless – she’s ugly.”
The conversation continued with everyone including their opinions, but Yorell’s statement had me stunned. Throughout my life I’ve always had a bunch of close male friends. Ever since I had been just a little girl, members of a mans species have always wanted to be my mate. Obviously there’s something about me that all men love. I believe I’ve finally figured it: they love my fat! Did being plus-size instantly put me in the “ugly and unattractive” female friend category?
Come on, let’s be genuine about this: lots of men have a fat girl they hang out with, confide in about their insecurities and fears, and enable over for quality friendship time. Sometimes she’ll even spend the night. They like to cuddle and feel the jiggly warmth of her fat rolls. And, oh my God, she actually has breasts! Big ones, pretty ones! But she’s just uncle. His closest friend. Right?
She’s funny, extremely intelligent and he loves her. He probably even secretly really wants to sleep together with her, but he can’t – she’s fat! His other male friends would not agree to his fat girlfriend because all men know if instructed to pick one extreme, it is best to be miserable and bored with an attractive woman who has a banging body than to become fulfilled and happy with a fat chick! Plus, a guy can invariably have a skinny woman as his main squeeze and keep the fat girl as the best friend, because his girlfriend would not think he’d cheat on her behalf with the Big Girl! ?Even though deep in her heart, his girlfriend recognizes that he loves and respects the fat girl with techniques that they may never receive, she doesn’t mind. In the end, she’s the issue.
After years of being the surrogate fat girlfriend for a couple of guys that probably secretly love me, but won’t date me, you would think that I would be bitter. But I’m not. Actually, Personally i think blessed since i have grown to be an expert on men and relationships. I recieve to know intricacies in men with techniques that most women won’t. Men tell me everything! Even things that their male friends will never know about them, I know. From my close male friends that work on Wall Street all the way to my house boy that works in construction, I have the hearts in men. We don’t have romances, but I obtain respect and love, which many times is much more compared to girlfriends which come and go in their lives ever will. (Also, before you decide to write me saying “I am a big girl, and men like to date me,” believe me, I GET IT. I date all the time, and also have lots of male fans. But I’m referring to the people who’re afraid to visit there, not those that go there all the time.)
Recently, the long-term girlfriend of 1 of my male friends called me to see how things were going. I told her that I was attempting to lose weight for your health and she or he said “Girl, you aren’t hanging around my boyfriend whenever you lose weight. He loves you too much, and when you receive thick I know I’m from the picture!”
Now, I know she only agreed to be kidding, but it made me think. While my weight is a burden in some ways, it’s also made people feel “safe.” Will slimming down imply that I will lose the coveted position to be every man’s fat closest friend??DANGER! BEWARE! All men look out for the shrinking fat girl: You may actually fall madly in love!
As a joke, a buddy of mine forwarded me an ad on Craigslist. A guy who described himself as shy and never capable of meeting women wanted a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) to be his wingwoman. He was searching for a beautiful, full-figured woman to choose him to bars and help him meet women. Obviously I could not resist trying to get the job. Not because I really was interested, but since i desired to know why he wanted a fat female closest friend.
He explained that full-figured women are much more easy-going. He’s an old college athlete who plays ball overseas and that he was tired of “model chicks,” simply because they were high-maintenance. ?So I asked him, “If you like the personality of a BBW, what about you put up an advertisement to date one?”
“Damn, Never imagined of this!” he responded.
Go figure. (No pun intended.)
I recently had a great Groupon deal to become listed on an amazing gym. Eventually, while I was working out, I noticed which i potentially have to lose not only weight. It’s not only the size of my waist which will change, but my relationships and the way people relate to me can change as well. I really like all of my male friends, and I’ve been “one from the guys” ?for thus long that I have no idea how to be anything else. What’s going to I actually do if slimming down does mean losing the place I have in my friends’ lives and their hearts? Am I ready for that?
Now, don’t get me wrong: lots of men like plus-sized women and I meet them all the time. It isn’t like I’m some ugly duckling that will get no play. Simultaneously, some of my close male friends would state that they aren’t typically attracted to plus-size women, most of them have discovered themselves being drawn to my thoughts and spirit, but my weight may have held them back.
So this time now you ask , not Can men and women be friends? Instead, it’s Can men and former fat girls stay friends? We shall see. I haven’t lost any male friends yet, however i did lose five more pounds!