results are in – after asking guys to see us the one thing you’d most like to check off your to-do list, we’ve got a success! Turns out sex having a near stranger is something that we are all kinda into – read this piece on using Craigslist for more than just finding an apartment, and be sure to determine?”The To complete List”?starring Aubrey Plaza, in theaters today!
When I was 23, I moved to Seattle from New York City, without particular reason with the exception that I felt compelled to. When I got there, I had been coming down from the pretty irreverent sex life within the Big Apple. I’d just had my first foursome and I was at what you might call a sexual peak. Basically, I had been horny?all?time.
I moved right into a condominium that was like living on Pluto or some planet where I had been the only real inhabitant. My new condo had an elevator, a gym downstairs, two bathrooms, along with a dishwasher. I’d never lived in a nice place before -? especially one with a dishwasher – and that i truly did not know how to handle myself.
The dishwasher fascinated and terrified me simultaneously. Becoming an adult, my family didn’t own one. As a kid, I’d sleepovers at friend’s house with a dishwasher. Sometimes her nightly chore would be to load that dishwasher. It gave me anxiety to watch her and I was always afraid she’d ask me to help and I’d need to reveal my terrible secret. In my 20s, living in NYC, it had been simple to avoid ever having to interface with a dishwasher. Honestly? The fact that I now lived with one out of my kitchen scared the crap out of me.
How did they work? Were there little scrubbers or mechanical arms in there? What were those weird noises it made? If I didn’t load it right, would I open the door to shattered dishes? I ignored my dishwasher however it was always there in the back of my mind. I kept doing my dishes manually.
By the time December rolled around, I had been feeling lonely, isolated, and very horny. I began perusing the Craigslist “Casual Encounters” section, something I’d done before with a friend, but never alone. I answered the ad of a conservative businessman in his late 20s. I’d been having fantasies of getting sex with someone like him in my condo-someone who sort of bored me, worked in a cubicle, and was very comfortable with a dishwasher.
Matthew and that i texted, GChatted, talked on the telephone, and met up for barhopping and sex for a few weeks. Then, one night when I was feeling ballsy after a couple of drinks, I Gchatted Matthew using the question I’d been working in the nerve to ask him:
Me:?What do you think would happen should you jizz inside a dishwasher slot where the detergent goes and then hit start?
Matthew:?It might wash dishes with jizz water.
Me:?Right, but would they be sticky?
Matthew:?I assume it would depend on the amount of jizz.
Me:?And wouldn’t it leak out of the bottom? Because you understand how it screws up dishwashers when you put normal detergent inside them?
Matthew:?Hahaha, but exactly how would you be alone long enough to masturbate into someone’s dishwasher?
Me:?No, not me. A man, duh.
Matthew:?That is what I am talking about. How’s a woman gonna jizz inside a dishwasher? Naturally a guy.
Me:?The man jizzes in it, they wash the dishes, then eat off of them. Or the girl includes a guy jizz into it, washes the dishes and then has her ex over and feeds him a romantic meal on the dishes. I would like to see it done in a film.
Matthew:?That would be hilarious.
Me:?I have been thinking about it for some time. Do you think anyone has ever come in a dishwasher before?
Matthew:?I am certain someone must have, right? However i have never heard of it before.
Matthew:?Would you like me to come in your dishwasher?
Me:?Apparently.
Matthew:?I’m able to do that.
Me:?So how would we do it?
Matthew:?You blow me inside your kitchen and I bust inside your dishwasher.
Me:?Yeah however it could be funnier to look at you jerk off into it.
Matthew:?Well, if you would like me to jerk off into your dishwasher, just tell me when.
Me:?I’ll wait until I’m from detergent. So, let’s simply do it and then see how the dishwasher reacts.
Matthew:?Cool.
So, did we go through with it? We did. Matthew came over? that night and that we executed my plan. When I woke up the following morning, I felt something unexpected – motivation to understand how to use my dishwasher. I had to get Matthew’s cum off of the dishes, in the end.