hello to James Deen. Surely you’re heard of him? He’s a multi-hyphenate: Porn star, director, who owns JamesDeen.com,?actor?(dude, I enjoyed?”The Canyons”), the person who inadvertently helped me find my orgasm, and now, I’m thrilled to officially announce, our new advice columnist.?6 weeks ago, James and that i?spent, like, seven hours drinking and conversing and also at some time during our?tete-a-tete,?it occurred to me that certain interview with James simply wasn’t enough for me or The Frisky. ?We needed?more. See,?James is a straight shooter, positive about his opinions – he doesn’t like pizza, everyone? – but upfront when he does not have all of the answers. He doesn’t mince words, is sharp but thoughtful, and, most significantly, is both nonjudgmental?and?thinking about a multitude of topics, both sexual and non. In the weeks after our interview (check out our?seriously edited-down Q&A below!), I had been?tempted to text him for advice lots of times – Exactly what do I do about this guy I’m dating? Is this an ingrown hair or something more serious? Which pegging porn should I watch? Exactly why is my fiddle fig tree dropping all its leaves?!?-?and therefore the idea for an advice column was created.?Lucky, lucky us, he was game. (And lucky, lucky me, I get to complete the asking.)?Now all I?need are your questions! Want James Deen to give it for you dirty (nothing like that, pervs)? Email the questions you have to [email protected]?Any?topic?is fair game,?whether it is dating, family, friendship, work, cats, porn, books, etiquette, that weird thing in your butt, not to mention,?sex, so don’t hold back. He definitely?won’t. (All questions will be posted anonymously.)
In the meantime, get a taste of James by reading our Q&A below-
Amelia/The Frisky: Don’t you find yourself getting tired of having sex everyday?
James Deen:?I perform the same thing every day, but it’s not really exactly the same thing because every person is different, every scene is different. Should you and that i perform a scene together and then we do another scene with a different director and then another scene the next day, three different scenes in a row, each is going to be different, it changes everything. It’s always new, it certainly is different, it certainly is exciting.
I have mediocre sex constantly, doesn’t that ever take place? Is it necessary to pretend like it’s awesome, even if it isn’t?
I don’t pretend it’s awesome if it’s not. I did scenes where I’ve said, “I’m going to educate you on how you can have sex” and then I simply do stuff. Girls are simply badly at sex as guys. And a lot of individuals don’t – sex – there is no wrong way to do it. There is a bad way to do things. But it varies individual to individual. There’s no right way to suck dick, there’s no right way to consume pussy – what might be to you may be wrong to her. I attempt to engage in proper communication to guarantee getting the best sex possible.
Do the women always come or do they sometimes fake it?
I do not know. Basically always knew if girls were faking their orgasms or otherwise I would apt to be a way better sex-haver. I’ve no clue if anyone ever comes legitimate.
You can’t tell?
I can pretend to. I can just learn what I’m told. I love to reside in a world where they are not lying in my experience. But I like it when my partner comes with an orgasm. I’m into that. It’s fun.
I’m always amused when guys let me know – and there have been a number of who’ve – “I always make girls come, girls never fake it with me.” Dude. Obviously they have.
I’m confident there have been several ladies who have faked it. There’s to possess been! I’ve done over 4,000 scenes!
If you nailed it every time, you would be in certain sort of hall of fame.
There’s no way possible. I don’t know. I try to talk about it, I attempt to consider it. When I’m having sex and also the person I’m having sex with comes it’s – accomplished isn’t right word, powerful isn’t right word. I have feelings like that, but none of them are right. None of these are correct. It’s doesn’t make me feel “powerful” to bring anyone to orgasm, it doesn’t cause me to feel feel “accomplished” like it’s a feat, it doesn’t cause me to feel feel special.?However it gives me a sense beyond physical sensation that I like. And it arouses me to look at individuals have orgasms, and not just women. I am talking about, I like women too, but when I will watch individuals have sex, I’d rather not just see a woman come, I had been to see a dude come, I wish to see everyone come!
And you usually do?
Come? No, It’s my job to don’t. I rarely come. I only come if I’m on camera or if an individual requests it.
You mean at the end?
I mean, this is the other thing, what constitutes sex? That’s a question I usually have. When someone says, “Oh, we’d sex seven times!” I’m like, well what am i saying? The guy came seven times? You came seven times? You began, then stopped, then had a sip of water, I am talking about what? What does that mean?
I?think they’re probably talking in terms of how many times the dude came.?It comes with the general thought that sex has ended when the guy has orgasmed, where men think sex is done if they are done, even if their female partner hasn’t come.
Yeah. I can tell that. It’s not an uncommon statement to create, I’ve?heard it before.
I guess there’s this sense that males are different, they?have?to come which with women it’s kind of optional or?as much as?chance.
There’s physiological and physical difficulties with the whole blue balls thing. I’ve never experienced?[blue balls]?because if I want to come, I simply come. Like, if you and that i were making love at this time and you were like, “Okay I’m done!” after which left, and I’m like, “Wait, but I still have to come -“
Yeah, you aren’t likely to be like, “Well, guess I am not coming then!”
No, I’m like, “Just produce, like, 12 seconds!”
I feel like there’s this expectation that you either come during intercourse or you don’t.
Sex in general, we’re just fucked up about it. People?don’t communicate! They’re confused and they’re scared. Sex is?weird, it makes them feel things. If people had a correct knowledge of sex and sexuality, everybody would be talking and become cool with it, prostitution could be legal, and I would not be sitting here as a fascinating subject. I would you need to be a dude with a job!
You’re right. Your fame is due, a minimum of partly, to the fact that there is a lot taboo surrounding sex. If there wasn’t a taboo, well, you’d still have a job I’m sure, but it probably wouldn’t be as lucrative or fame-inducing.?
It is much more lucrative! ?It may be more fame-inducing!
Who knows? Whoooo knowssss? Speaking of which, is your fame weird for you?
I don’t believe I’m actually famous. I’m fake famous. What constitutes fame? Does Garth Brooks know who I am?
Maybe not Garth Brooks, however i bet Miley Cyrus does.
If Miley knows who I’m, I’d be excited to talk to her. Allow me to speak with her.
Is it weird sitting across from someone who you know has jerked off and away to you? [This may be the moment that of the booze I used to be drinking struck me all at once.]
Not really.
There’s a particular sense with individuals who be careful about your work they knows you. Like, I simply watched you’ve sex last night.
You have no idea me, you simply know what my penis appears like!
[Laughing] But seriously is there any disadvantages in being noted for the job you do?
I’m there is, and there is going to be. There isn’t currently, there was not yet. I’m confident that in 3 decades, I’ll likely have a totally different perspective. I know I will. I’ll likely have encountered a number of downfalls and negativities which i have yet to experience. I’m a?heterosexual white male, I’ve got a large amount of privilege so I do not have to deal with many of the issues that, like, Sasha Grey would need to deal with or Jenna Jameson – I’m attempting to think, are there any big gay porn stars that have gotten much fame? There are stars, but there are no Ron Jeremys or [whispering] James Deens. I’m not that acquainted with gay porn, honestly.
Have you thought of doing any gay scenes?
Gay porn? [Shakes head] I am not gay. I don’t do stuff that I do not like. Basically didn’t like BDSM stuff, I would not get it done.
I recently got into bi?porn.
Bi porn is rad! If only I could shoot it, but the problem is if you’re shooting bi porn, you’re shooting gay porn. It is annoying. I’d rather not perform inside it because I don’t wish to fuck dudes, but I do think there’s some cool visual a few things i could do with two dudes that aren’t scared of one another’s penises.
Yeah! There’s something really hot in regards to a totally straight dude taking up the ass. Why not? Your prostate is up the sofa, why wouldn’t you?
Some dudes don’t like it within the butt, some girls don’t like it in the butt. But I am curious what I’ll think in 3 decades though.
Do you think you’ll still do porn?
Yeah, in some capacity. It’s partly why I began a business, that desire to be involved in the adult film industry for so long as I possibly can.
What direction do you want to see the porn industry go in?
The adult film business?is?in a precipice right now where it needs to decide between furthering itself into legitimacy or falling back into the shadows and going deeper into them. We’re a constitutionally protected and legal business and now we’re receiving treatment like a constitutionally protected and legal business? -?but the problem is the people that have been in control of deciding exactly what the regulations and rules are have no knowledge by what the adult industry needs. Take the whole issue of condoms. Adult performers do not want condoms. The adult film industry does not have an element that requires us to make use of condoms. If condoms were 100 % mandatory on each and every set for the last Ten years, every single person that has HIV which was in the adult industry would still have HIV. It would not have made a single difference as far as HIV is worried. the only difference that I accept is as true would have made is it would have opened up risk, because individuals would have gone underground and continued to produce within an illegal environment and would not have followed industry regulations which would have exposed more and more people to more harmful things. It might have resulted in more sites which were not operating within an ethical and consensual manner, producing quite happy with people who are not sober and –
It’s also just type of ridiculous to put the onus of educating the general public, young people particularly, about fucking condoms on the porn industry, when our own government can’t even mandate that sex education be expected in schools. When giving 6th graders comprehensive sex ed is controversial –
Right, it’s requiring us being educators, when we’re not educators! We’re entertainers. Condoms are great in that they are doing help, but they’re mostly birth control – they just do not assist with a lot of STDs. Syphilis?is skin-to-skin.
So is HPV.
And herpes is skin-to-skin too. Yes, there’s chlamydia and gonorrhea, but when you’ve syphilis on your penis and also you wear a condom, yeah, you’re more protected, but realistically, that stuff oozes. Condoms are hardly foolproof.
The point is, the responsibility of the adult film industry is not to teach people. Down to the adult film industry is to scream as loud as possible that porn is entertainment, not education. And that’s things i always try to do. I attempt to be like, “Hey guys, want to learn how to have good sex? Don’t watch a porno. You need to learn anything about sex, don’t watch a porno. How do you have sex just like a porn star? You do not.” It’s entertainment. It isn’t education.?That’s actually in which the adult market is responsible – we all do possess a responsibility to remind people of this. It’s unacceptable for individuals to state [the porn industry]?needs to set an example. But it’s completely acceptable to say that people have to remind people that we do not set an example.
With that in mind, something I listen to women is that?we are able to assume that almost all men watch porn, but they watch it to such a degree they have come to expect facets of what they see in pornography in their own lives. So women – especially women in their early-twenties, I’d say – find themselves almost performing?during sex as opposed to just being themselves and expressing how they real feel, even in terms of how they express that they’re enjoying themselves. They believe that is what men want because they’re so used to watching porn.
I think it might be true, I believe it is possible. I mean, does art dictate life or does life dictate art? It’s the same thing. The idea that the adult market is setting the standard of performance – we’re a business, we make our decisions based on what sells. Somebody may have a concept, like, “I want to see a woman snort cum from a tit! That is what I want to see. So let’s shoot that. Let’s do that!” It has been done millions of times –
Wait, really? Snorting cum?
There are scenes everywhere. All the time. I’ve shot tons of them. With straws,?pretending it’s drugs, girls pretending they’re addicted – they’re hooked on sex, so they utilize it like a metaphor. You know, for shock value. So then that?becomes something which, let’s imagine, 20-year-olds –
The same kids who’re pouring vodka to them to get drunk.
Yeah, those kids! So that they say, “I wanna do that! Let’s do this.” So that they try it. Now, are these 20-year-olds?snorting cum?because somebody thought it was hot,?use it film and then it sold very well, now people are engaging in this sexual behavior??Or maybe it was something which people already did,?we recreated it on film after which it had been known as a trend?
[We’re interrupted by our waitress, who delivers our meals – ravioli for James, pastrami sandwich for me personally.]
Right. A few months ago, there is a trend – well, I don’t know whether it was a trend, but it was known as a trend on, like, a number of blogs – called “rosebudding” and how it’s”the new frontier of extreme porn!” However i have no idea that I buy that it is real trend. I mean, I’m sure there’s lots of it within the dearth of internet porn which can be found, but is it a trend meaning that everybody as well as their mom is running around rosebudding? I would think not??
I have no idea.
And may be the impact then going to be that suddenly the average dude is going to expect the women they fuck to rosebud?
Maybe. Maybe not. You never know? I’m not a physician, I’m not sure exactly what the scientific repercussions of expelling your anus –
I imagine generally, the asshole isn’t supposed to fall out like a slinky.
Happens whenever a woman gives birth.
What? Are you serious? Don’t let me know that!?[Pauses to take bite of pastrami sandwich, seriously.]
Maybe its not all time, but yeah, it takes place a great deal when women give birth. The perineum also gets torn up. I’ve no clue what the scientific reparations of a prolapsed butthole?are,?however i imagine, like a large amount of muscles, controlling your rectum and anus and the muscles inside, you’re actually strengthening it. I mean, there’s an argument that may be made that [using the anus muscles to expel the rectum]?might be healthy for you. I don’t know if that is accurate, I’m just playing devil’s advocate because neither of us are doctors or scientists and yeah, it does appear to be there’s some sort of negative repercussion. It does not seem right – that isn’t where your rectum goes.
I just wouldn’t need it falling out at inopportune moments.
Yeah. Absolutely. But does making it not a good idea? Harmful? I don’t know.
Well, our concept of our opinion of as harmful is kind of skewed. I am talking about, it’s based on what we think of as “normal.” So because few are walking down the street with prolapsed anuses, we think that using a prolapsed anus must?be harmful and terrible.
I hear you. Additionally, it looks fucking scary. It doesn’t look like a proper thing to have your internal organs become external.
Now you’ve got me playing devil’s advocate, but YEAH.
I begin to see the point. I’d go so far as to reason that if that’s the capability that you have, I’d check with a physician prior to doing it. Like, that fetish whenever you put shit in?your?dick hole – there’s a name for that. I can not consider it. Shoving forks, pens, things into my dickhole. If I were really into that –
Have you done that?
I’ve been tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea by putting a Q-tip within my urethra, however i got no sexual joy or enjoyment from this at all. However, many guys like it! They make rods specifically for it so that you can insert rods and dilate your urethra to be able to put more things inside it. Don’t know why.
I know guys who have had kidney stones who wouldn’t shut the fuck up concerning the screaming horrible pain of passing a stone through their urethra.
Yeah, they say it’s the closest feeling men could have to having a baby.
Yet there are individuals who enjoy that sensation enough to – well, I guess one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.?
Yup. Basically was into that, whether it felt good, I would not continue to do it, I’d check with a physician and be like, “Hey, so, uh, what damage could I do to become body? Let’s discuss this. How do i do that safely?” I Google a great deal. I like to research. I love to know.
Are there sexual activities that you’re intrigued about this you haven’t done yet?
Not that I know of-
Want James Deen allow it for you dirty (not like that, pervs)? Email your questions to [email protected]?Any?topic?is fair game,?be it dating, family, friendship, work, cats, porn, books, etiquette, that weird thing in your butt, not to mention,?sex, so don’t hold back. He definitely?won’t.?(All queries is going to be posted anonymously.)